Darkness Falls (2003)

(In theaters, January 2003) After The Ring, it’s hard to be generous to run-of-the-mill horror films, but even in normal circumstances, it would be pretty hard to get excited about Darkness Falls. It’s a monster movie like all others, except that it’s too strangely similar to Pitch Black and happens to steal at least one sequence from Requiem For A Dream. Once past the promising prologue, it’s dull, really. A killer tooth fairy? Come on, you can do better than that! A monster that can’t attack in the light? Well don’t give me a film where even pitch darkness is illuminated by what looks like a 40-watts full moon (oh, and with constant lightning). The staging is moronic, the characters are dumb and the dialogues are even dumber. Sure, there are a few oddly affectionate moments of self-aware camp (“Are we going to die?” “Yes.”), but despite the presence of one hot heroine (take note: Emma Caulfield), the rest of the film is completely unremarkable. Maybe it can impress anyone who’s never seen even another horror movie in their life. All the others, however, will yawn rather loudly. A killer tooth fairy. Goodness.

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