Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde (2003)

(In theaters, June 2003) Given my tepid reaction to the original Legally Blonde, I wasn’t particularly enthusiastic about the prospect of a sequel, especially one that has the supreme hypocrisy to say something about animal testing on cosmetics. Being branded, herded and searched for recording devices at the advance screening did nothing to make me any more favourable to the film. Alas, the movie itself is its own worst enemy: It would have been worth it to be branded, herded and searched not to this this lame attempt at a political comedy. Seldom have I loathed a character as much as Elle Woods, the obnoxious brain-dead pinkish scourge of the Eastern Seaboard. Legally Blonde 2 sidesteps any political debate between right and left to end up squarely between dumb and stupid. Everything fails in this lifeless so-called comedy: The jokes seldom earn more than a pained smile (with an exception for the perfect delivery of “your dogs are gay”), and one comes out of the film with a renewed appreciation for soft-money campaign contributions. Elle Woods goes to Washington vowing to triumph on the strength of her naive convictions and to avoid the pitfalls of blackmail, networking and insider information… and end up doing exactly that. It would be depressingly hypocritical if we actually had a sense that anyone cared. But aside from the thirty seconds of dumbed-down political content, Legally Blonde 2 is made for those people who coo at dog outfits… you know who you are. Thank you very much for inflicting this piece of trash on us.

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