I Know Who Killed Me (2007)

(In theaters, July 2007) There was a time where I would have moved mountains to see a film in which Linsey Lohan plays a stripper. Alas, that time has passed, because seeing Lohan pole-dancing in I Know Who Killed Me is an endurance contest in the middle of a deeply ludicrous experience. Setting itself up as a thriller but truly belonging to a weak form of supernatural horror (Oops, was that a spoiler? You’ll thank me.) I Know Who Killed Me is bad from the first few frames, but quickly makes things worse for itself by pretending to be a piece of art. A striking colour scheme is the least of the film’s aspirations to art, but it doesn’t take Art Bell’s appearance as a reliable Exposition Device to realize that this film has jumped the rails of even B-movie cinema. Lohan is irritating, the film feels exploitative, the plot drags on and the resolution of the entire mystery is a cheap device. Thriller fans will be furious at how the film doesn’t play fair, and everyone else will just wonder when it will end. There’s always a lot of competition for the title of worst movie of the year, but I Know Who Killed Me makes a strong case for the honour.

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