Moviegoing 2002
2003, Christian Sauvé
This being a flash-retrospective of the movies of 2002, written at the end of the year and updated until the Oscars are given out in March 2003:
- THE BEST: Every end-of-year retrospective must have a top-ten list...
- HONORABLE MENTIONS: Other films worth a look.
- BOTTOM OF THE BARREL: Movies to avoid.
- A QUICK GUIDE TO OTTAWA-AREA THEATRES: For once, some regional content.
- WHAT ABOUT THE OSCARS? My picks for the year.
1. THE BEST
My Ten Favourite Films of 2000
(This is not a "best movies of the year" list. This is a "my favourite films of the year" list. Please understand the distinction.)
1. CHICAGO
- Plot: Girls kill people. They meet. There's a lot of signing and dancing.
- Why I think it's great: Because it takes a story written with cynical wit, recreate the singing and dancing that made it famous in the theater and then injects a layer of symbolism through uniquely cinematographic elements such as the cross-cutting between real/imagined scenes.
- I hear your objections, but: Taken together, the ventriloquist/puppets, courtroom circus, tap-dancing around objections and the "Had it coming" numbers make this film unarguably one of the greatest of the year.
2. BLADE II
- Plot: Fearless Vampire Killers!
- Why I think it's great: Forget about plot, character or emotional depth: This film is all about action. Technically, it's an impressive display of special effects, fight choreography, "liberated" cinematography, loud music and plain cool stuff. It's the adrenaline rush of the year.
- I hear your objections, but: I claim inner-geekness affinities. Whatever you say can't matter.
3. MINORITY REPORT
- Plot: A policeman is framed for a murder... before it happens.
- Why I think it's great: It's probably the clearest vision of a new future we've had in a long long while. It's about privacy, information, justice and the price of security. It features a couple of very cool scenes. It's not a boring film.
- I hear your objections, but: I too can poke holes in the plot. But even then, I still think it's a nifty film.
4. LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
- Plot: Part two of three in the ultimate good-versus-evil epic!
- Why I think it's great: Actually, I don't know if it's great or not. This series has effectively left the plane of rational critical discourse as far as I'm concerned. It just is, and it just deserves to be seen.
- I hear your objections, but: Objections? Wah-wah-wah.
5. THE RING
- Plot: A videotape kills people.
- Why I think it's great: As far as I can recall, it's the first genuine horror film in theaters in years. Constantly creepy and not above a few jump-shots, it just works on you even if you know how it works.
- I hear your objections, but: It's the first movie to disturb my sleep since 1997's EVENT HORIZON.
6. BOWLING FOR COLUMBINE
- Plot: Michael Moore examines violence in America
- Why I think it's great: It's frequently wrong, but it's also vigorously argued. One can have more fun picking at its thesis than thinking about any other five randomly-chose films of the year. Oh, and it's alternately riotously funny, deeply sad and plainly astonishing at times.
- I hear your objections, but: The film is good partly because of its flaws; at least it encourages you to react!
7. GANGS OF NEW YORK
- Plot: Revenge!
- Why I think it's great: The historical re-creation is deeply impressive, and so is Daniel Day Lewis' performance. The story is simple but serviceable and damn, Scorsese knows how to move a camera.
- I hear your objections, but: Even the bait-and-switch ending makes sense, when seen from a certain perspective.
8. HARRY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
- Plot: Harry learns even more about wizardry!
- Why I think it's great: It's another charming entry in the Potter series. The best thing about it is how you can just sit and enjoy sheer competent storytelling for two hours.
- I hear your objections, but: This series too has left the plane of critical analysis.
9. THE SUM OF ALL FEARS
- Plot: Neo-Nazis want to start World War III! Egawd!
- Why I think it's great: It's one of the few true techno-thrillers in recent memory, a film about Big Issues done with professionalism and artistic skill. Heck, even Ben Affleck is interesting in it.
- I hear your objections, but: Even I, as one of the book's biggest fans, can't be too bothered by the simplifications of the storyline.
10. EIGHT LEGGED FREAKS
- Plot: Giant Spiders. Who needs a plot?
- Why I think it's great: Kari Wuhrer firing a shot-gun at giant spiders, drawing splatters of green blood and small coos of pain from the arachnids. If that image doesn't do it for you, I'm sorry, please substitute ADAPTATION or CATCH ME IF YOU CAN in this spot. You just don't Get It.
- I hear your objections, but: Giant Spiders. 'nuff said.
Also worth mentioning are a two fine films from 2001 that I would have seriously considered for last year's list if it wasn't for the fact that I saw them in 2002.
- From Germany, DAS EXPERIMENT was a claustrophobic psychological thriller that ought to be on any "to see" list.
- From New York, we got KISSING JESSICA STEIN, a charming little romantic comedy that's much better than its plot summary might lead you to believe.
- I would also like to mention the poster for REIGN OF FIRE for presenting the best premise of the year, a premise that was sadly left unexplored in the film attached to the poster.
2. HONOURABLE MENTIONS
In years past, I actually covered every single film I had seen that year. Rather than waste both of our time with discussions of unremarkable films, here are a few motions pictures that I have found worthwhile in 2002, and which may also be worth your attention.
Science-Fiction/Action-Movie fans should enjoy the heck out of EQUILIBRIUM, a great little Science-Fiction film that was shamefully under-promoted by its studio (and sank without a trace at the box-office). Also worth considering is RESIDENT EVIL, a pretty enjoyable zombie film and -of course- STAR WARS II: ATTACK OF THE CLONES, if only for its last forty minutes. Oh, and SPIDER-MAN wasn't bad at all. Fans of more thoughtful Science-Fiction films should take a look at S1M0NE, a futuristic fable about art, creation, control and belief. Nifty stuff, as long as you're not overly literal about it.
If you want an fun family movie night, go and get SPY KIDS 2: THE ISLAND OF LOST DREAMS, or STUART LITTLE 2. Both are charming films that should work well with the entire family. I'm even willing to state that both are better sequels than the original entries. STUART LITTLE 2 is a bit more interesting, plot-wise, and SPY KIDS 2 contains almost as many special effects as STAR WARS II.
If your definition of "family film" includes grand-parents rather than kids, you can't go wrong with the much-lauded MY BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, a slight but irreproachable romantic comedy. For Canadians, MEN WITH BROOMS is an instant classic, the type of film worth standing up and cheering.
Crime-fiction enthusiasts had a good year in 2002. Not only did RED DRAGON present a (mostly) faithful adaptation of Thomas Harris' novel, but it improved upon MANHUNTER, the previous remake. Speaking of adaptations, TRAPPED effectively brought Greg Ives' 24 Hours to the screen. Also worth mentioning is PANIC ROOM, a simplistic thriller made compelling thanks to the considerable talents of director David Fincher. Finally, it's impossible to neglect CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, a well-handled crime story tailor-made to satisfy as many people as possible. Oh, and let's not forget ROAD TO PERDITION, a dour but respectable family tale set in a criminal environment during the Prohibition.
From crime to war, there's only one small degree of lethality, and WE WERE SOLDIERS stands tall as this year's best military film. Also worth mentioning in the associated adventure genre is THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO, an irresistible historical epic that has it all: action, drama, romance and adventure.
Finally, after all this action and adventure, why not take a break with a pair of completely satisfying comedies? Take a trip back to the Wilde England with THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING EARNEST, and follow it up with a hilarious take-off on blaxploitation films with UNDERCOVER BROTHER.
3. BOTTOM OF THE BARREL
Try to avoid those, if you can: (in increasingly frustrating order)
10.PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE
- Plot: Adam Sandler tries to get some respect.
- Why I think it's bad: In his haste to deconstruct the romantic comedy genre, director Paul T. Anderson forgot to construct it first.
- No, but really: I don't care about any of those characters. Except for Luis Guzman. If you don't agree, go ahead and put COLLATERAL DAMAGE in this bottom-ten instead of this film. See if I'm offended.
9. THE FOUR FEATHERS
- Plot: Something about not being a coward in service of England's imperialistic foreign policy.
- Why I think it's bad: Bland, boring, pretentious and interminable, this is one film that suck all the adventure out of inherently interesting material.
- No, but really: The climax is a fist-fight in the sand that uses filtered lens, a haunting African score and more slow-motion that John Woo's latest film.
8. THE RULES OF ATTRACTION
- Plot: College students don't have fun while doing sex, drugs and loud music.
- Why I think it's bad: That's just it; despite the rampant hedonism going on in this film, there's nothing even remotely interesting about these people. And just as you think it's all building up to some deep conclusion...
- No, but really: ..."You can never know other people"? Is that the best you can do? Lame!
7. THE TUXEDO
- Plot: Jackie Chan fights criminals. The usual, really.
- Why I think it's bad: I'm one of the biggest Chan fans on the planet, and even I couldn't get interest in this lifeless wreck. Not only a complete waste of his talent, but also a fitting example of Hollywood's creative bankruptcy.
- No, but really: This would be lower down the list if it wasn't for the spectacular sight of Jennifer Love Hewitt, dripping wet and wearing glasses. Woo!
6. SCOOBY-DOO
- Plot: A hideous monster threatens college students. It's name...?
- Why I think it's bad: Juvenile plotting that runs about thirty minutes too long, handicapped by terrible dialogue and one of the ugliest CGI creature in history.
- No, but really: Only one line of dialogue separates this film from the bottom five: "That's, like, my favorite name!"
5. AUSTIN POWERS 3: GOLDMEMBER
- Plot: Whatever. Didn't care.
- Why I think it's bad: Actually, the first five minutes aren't bad. The rest, though, is roughly akin to dental surgery gone horribly wrong. Dumb. Painful. Better than AP2, but not by much. The title character is devoid of anything amusing.
- No, but really: Five jokes, spread and repeated over ninety minutes.
4. THE TIME MACHINE
- Plot: Hollywood savages a classic story.
- Why I think it's bad: All the social subtext of the original novel is gone. The make-up job on the Morlocks is the saddest thing I've seen in years. The plotting is strictly cliché. Guy Pearce can't even save this piece of garbage.
- No, but really: I had more fun playing with my wireless-capable PDA than watching the film.
3. STAR TREK 10
- Plot: STAR TREK 2 ripped-off.
- Why I think it's bad: Worf is drunk, Data is killed (but not really) for no good reason, Picard doesn't get anything interesting to do, the plot is boring, a spectacular SFX sequence means nothing and there's a god-damned dune buggy chase. Someone put that franchise out of its misery, please!
- No, but really: The crew of Enterprise confronts is deadliest threat so far: A SURLY TEENAGER!
2. VAN WILDER
- Plot: College students gone wild!
- Why I think it's bad: Gross-out comedy, dull characters, no nudity and a generally unmemorable film.
- No, but really: Hmm... I can't remember anything else about the film save that it wasn't very good. That probably means that my plan to forget everything about it has mostly succeeded.
1. SLACKERS
- Plot: Hilarious college stalker comedy! Genius!
- Why I think it's bad: I've seen some truly boring comedies this year, but this, I think, is the only one where I started actively hating the characters. Their psychotic behavior. Their grating false sincerity. Their pathetic attempts to make me laugh. I wanted to send PUNCH-DRUNK LOVE's protagonist to bash in their mousy hypocritical faces. Yep, that bad.
- No, but really: This is the kind of movie DVD-burning demonstrations were invented for.
4. A QUICK UPDATE ON OTTAWA-AREA THEATRES
Prices went up, service went down... it was business-as-usual for the Ottawa-area theaters this year. I can only comment on where I went, so, in decreasing order of frequentation, here are my comments on:
- The World Exchange (Cineplex Odeon): This is a theater I would like to hate, but can't: It raised prices twice, continued to hire morons, cancelled showings after advertising them in the weekly papers and had the gall to charge "holiday" matinee prices on Monday, December 30th and Tuesday, December 31st. On the other hand, it's still a highly convenient non-nonsense theater that's cheaper than any of the googolplexes. But don't worry; I found a (perfectly legal) way to hurt them where they can feel it; I buy gift certificates at another Cineplex Odeon location, then use them at the World Exchange. Muah-ha-ha! Pure evil!
- Rideau Centre (Famous Players): Sure, the seats are uncomfortable, the décor is passé and the rooms have the feel of a concrete shoebox, but on the other hand, the Rideau Centre doesn't try to fool you in pretending that it's anything but a real mall cineplex. Points for honesty, and cheap appropriate pricing. The inconsistent matinee and higher-than-afternoon prices for the cheap Tuesday evening shows are annoying, but still tolerable.
- The Mayfair (Independant) gets the prize for "worst deterioration" of 2002. A new management took over, and things went to hell: once-interesting schedules got filled with endless reruns of the same goddamned movies and nonsensical double features. I used to go two or even three times a month; at this point, I only went once in the past for months and had to suffer through a late-opening box-office, people who literally didn't know how to operate the cash register and projection problems. No joke. My membership card expires in May 2003, but chances are that I won't even have to renew it.
- Orleans (Cineplex Odeon): The brave last good no-nonsense theater in the 'burbs. Good prices, appropriate service and relatively convenient location make this my own favourite theater. I'll try to support it more often, say at the expense of the World Exchange...
- Cinéma 9 (Cineplex Odeon): While the prices a a touch too expensive for the location and service, it remains the most cost-efficient way to see French-Language movies in the Ottawa area.
- Silvercity (Famous Players): Bleh. Money-sucking full-nonsense googolplex. Great seating, fantastic sound and really big screen make this theater a good choice for the truly spectacular films, but not for casual moviegoing. Avoid unless you can't.
5. WHAT ABOUT THE OSCARS?
As of late January 2003, here how I'd give out the Oscars, damn the Academy!
- Costumes: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
- Editing: CHICAGO
- Make-up: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
- Song: "Nod Your Head (Black Suits Coming)", Will Smith, MEN IN BLACK II
- Soundtrack: CHICAGO
- Sound: CHICAGO
- Sound Editing: WE WERE SOLDIERS
- Visual Effects: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS
- Set Design: GANGS OF NEW YORK
- Cinematography: MINORITY REPORT
- Adapted Screenplay: CHICAGO
- Original Screenplay: ADAPTATION (OK, I'm cheating!)
- Supporting Actor: Luis Guzman, THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO
- Supporting Actress: Michelle Rodriguez, RESIDENT EVIL
- Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis, GANGS OF NEW YORK
- Actress: Renee Zellweger, CHICAGO
- Foreign Film: DAS EXPERIMENT
- Animated Feature: ICE AGE
- Director: Guillermo del Toro, BLADE II
- Picture: CHICAGO