A USENET PRIMER
1998, Christian Sauvé
[This is a work-in-progress. Send suggestions!]
0. USENET? HUH?
Before there was a Web, before there was AOL, the Internet primarily consisted of four things: Telnet, FTP, Newsgroups and E-Mail. Of those four, E-Mail is unquestionably the medium that survived the Net's web-driven metamorphosis. FTP is more or less irrelevant given the capacities of today's browser (and deservedly so; I never liked the command-line FTP commands). Telnet is now the province of the hard-core veterans. (I use it every day to connect to my provider: because it's text-only, it's also blazingly fast.)
But while Newsgroups (not only "news", please!) continue to thrive today, it seems like even the most avid newer web-maniacs seem reluctant to see what news are all about. And that's a shame, because newsgroups are at least as interesting as web sites, and sometimes even more so.
This document is written for two audiences: The first one is referred-to in the last paragraphs: Web afficiondaccios who should really start reading newsgroups. To these, I'll try to show the basics, potential and wealth of information and opinion available on Usenet.
The second audience is slightly more familiar with the net. To these people, I will try to pass on a few hard-earned tips of the peculiar nature of Usenet sociology.
Who am I to pontificate like that? Depends. If you look up my profile in what has become the standard Web-based archive for Usenet, DejaNews, you won't find anything very revealing. A few trivial messages here and there in mostly inconsequential newsgroups. No matter; I'm someone who like to read rather than to post. But I've been reading since early 1993. You can say that I've seen a few things since then.
More concretely, I was the main proponent behind the creation of the small national newsgroup can.arts.sf during the summer of 1997. (I also created the temporary local newsgroup uottawa.csi.csi4503 and once created a Win95 newsreader, but those are different stories.)
1. WHAT IS USENET?
Usenet is not the Internet, nor is the Internet obviously not Usenet.
When I first started explaining to people what was Usenet, back in 1993, I was using the bulletin board analogy. But since you're using the Web, chances are that you're most familiar with E-Mail, so here goes:
Imagine a mailbox full of hundred of messages on the same subject. Then imagine that everyone is able to read all messages. Finally, imagine thousands of these mailboxes to choose from, on almost every imaginable subject. That is Usenet: Thousands of text-only messages, on more-or-less specific subjects, all available to everyone.
Some sites carry newsgroups, some can't afford the massive disk space overhead this implies (total Usenet traffic is several megabytes per day, and that's not including the newsgroups that specialize in large binary files.) and some carry only a subselection of groups. (Actually, given the global-to-local nature of Usenet, no site carries all newsgroups. But some are much more restrictive that others.) You can always check your site by clicking on this link: news.announce.newuser (If it doesn't work, it's either because your browser is improperly configured, or your site does not carry news. In either case, contact your news administrator.)
The beauty of the system is that it's completely different from the Web. WWW sites are based in one place; one physical machine with one copy of the pages is sitting somewhere in the world. Nuke the machine, and there's no more site. With Usenet, the compactness of text lets users send messages on thousands of separate machines, the news host that the users (you) will use. Usenet is completely parallel, decentralized, distributed. Modern thriller heroes should post their revelations on Usenet instead of sending them to the newspapers.
Almost all subject, from the tame to the awful, are covered on Usenet. If you've got an interest in something, chances are that a newsgroup exists somewhere to talk about it. (if not, you'll probably be able to create the missing newsgroup. But that's another essay entirely)
The value of newsgroups lies in their quasi-immediacy. The messages you post can be read almost instantly by other users. They will stay on the system for a few days. This makes Usenet an ideal medium for rapidly changing subjects. Since most Usenet users read a small number of selected newsgroups (they're "subscribed" to newsgroups), news in the subjects they're interested are likely to be read quickly. Best of all, you don't need HTML coding skills, access to a Web server or the ability to post stuff on the web to say something on Usenet. Just type your message like an e-mail, and off it goes!
Not surprisingly, Usenet has lately become the leading medium for opinions. We'll see later the good and bad side of this.
I will leave the technical side of the process to your local newsmaster. The remainder will be left to you: explore Usenet, try different newsgroups, look around a little. Communities form fairly quickly around newsgroups. Maybe you'll feel left out at the beginning, but hang on and you may even find friends around.
2. USENET ADVICE
In more than five years of Usenet lurking (InstaDef: A lurker reads but seldom posts. It's not a pejorative term.), I have learned a few things. Here are a few of them:
Golden Rules:
- When you post, be either informative or entertaining.
- If you choose to be informative, remember that information loses a lot of impact if it's not backed-up by a "paper" source. (These days, this tends to include the most respectable web sites.) If possible, always provide adequate reference.
- If you choose to be entertaining, remember that everyone can read Usenet (even your boss, your mate or your friends.) Also, do remember that Usenet is global. Region-specific humour and lingo is rarely effective elsewhere.
- Have a thick skin and forget easily. Don't get pumped up over trivialities.
- Always remember the difference between Email (private) and Usenet (public). Don't go and post personal messages for only one person on a whole newsgroup! Take it to e-mail instead.
- Most newsgroups have FAQs (Frequently Asked Question) lists, and/or guides to good newsgroup behaviour. You should definitely read those before posting, especially if you're unfamiliar with the newsgroup.
Seasonal Tips:
- April first is also called "Trust-No-One Day". You have been warned.
- Don't go overboard with seasonal greetings. Remember that people of all races, religions and nationalities also read Usenet.
- Weather comments; sheesh!
- The most diverse (and obscene) coverage of big-scale events (Oscar Awards, Superbowl, World Series, Elections...) can usually be found in the relevant newsgroups around the day of the event.
Flame Wars:
- Flame Wars are a series of inflammatory messages representing a rather serious difference of opinion between two (or more) persons. They can either be hilarious (if you're new to this), annoying (if you've seen a few dozen of them) or deeply unsettling (if you're implicated in them.) Don't start one, don't feed one, don't get caught in one.
- Anyone who trolls (re: fishing term) in the hope of starting a flame way is an idiot who deserves whatever s/he's going to get.
- Subjects likely to inadvertently start Flame Wars are
- Gun Control
- Star Trek versus Babylon 5
- Religion and Politics, of course.
- Gay Issues
- Women's Issues
- UFOs
- Harlan Ellison
- what was the meaning of TWELVE MONKEYS, THE USUAL SUSPECTS and other too-smart movies
- STARSHIP TROOPERS, CONTACT and other uneven movies
- cats versus dogs
- Not necessarily in this order.
Grammatical Exactitude:
- Much as in real life, you will be judged on Usenet by your content and by your presentation. Presentation is largely influenced by your ability to compose coherent strings of words. As such, it is vitally important to possess at least a smidgen of mastery of the English language. It's unfair to a lot of people, but so is real life.
- ALL CAPS IS CONSIDERED SHOUTING. Don't do it.
- There are no valid excuses to make basic spelling mistakes. None. Dyslexia does not count, nor does the failure of our current educational system. On this subject, I'm with Miss Grundy, our terrible grammar teacher: Conform, spell-check or shut up.
- A few quick conventions to make your life easier. Emphasis is denoted by asterisks (like this and that). Book titles are underlined; use the underscore. (Like Gone With the Wind.) Movie titles are in all-caps. (like GONE WITH THE WIND). Short stories or articles titles are in quotes (like "The Buried Treasure: Usenet"). There rules are neither compulsory or universally accepted, but do make life easier for everyone.
Criticism:
- As a reader, you should keep in mind that the relative anonymity and accessibility of Usenet contribute to the harshness of criticism. Simply put, everyone hates everything. In the rare, rare cases where a lot of people say that something is worthwhile, you should pay attention.
- Any idiot can simply say "It rocks/It sucks". It takes more than that for adequate criticism.
- Do not make the mistake of confusing the game with the players. If you don't like an actor, fine. But if you keep saying that his next movie is definitely doing to be horrible because of him, maybe you should abstain from posting until you same something more substantial to say.
- Similarly, do not make the mistake of thinking that impressions and preconceptions are valid grounds for argument. To give a recent example, it was more-or-less assumed that TITANIC would flop as soon as it came out. And guess what happened...?
- If possible, give benchmarks to other people so they may be able to adjust your opinion.
Annoyances:
- Don't post a message saying "[Thing]. What do you think?" This brings nothing new to the discussion, doesn't say anything about you, doesn't inform or entertain. At the very least, your message should be structured like "I like/dislike [Thing] because [...]" If other readers have something to say about [Thing], they will respond.
- Don't think that Usenet is a good medium for posting advertisements. Ads annoy people, and only morons think that annoyed people make good customers.
- Don't use coarse language. It might make you feel better, but it will only make you sound like a rude barbarian. Never forget that most Usenet messages are archived at www.deja.com!
- Don't take it personally. It's just words on a screen, after all...
Good Usenetship:
- If you like what someone said, why not email him and say so? It won't take much of your time, and will probably make the other person's day.
- If you dislike what someone said and absolutely have to write back, do it in a civil way. Be polite, explain your arguments and leave room for the other person to save face.
- If someone asks for help and you are certain you can help him, send him an email even if you think other people have already answered. In the worst cases, your correspondent will be able to compare your advice/information to the other replies.
- Usenet is fun, so please have fun too!