Blackbelt (1992)

(On TV, April 1999) Many critics are prompt to blast even the finest martial arts movies, but they haven’t recalibrated their bad-movie standards with films like Blackbelt. It’s hard to know even where to begin in an enumeration of faults. The concept (rock singer, threatened by psycho, hires bodyguard) is cliché, the acting is… er… unconvincing (the opening generic takes the time to list martial arts credentials after the relevant names), the treatment of women is repulsive, the editing is awful, the choreography isn’t impressive, the sets look incredibly cheap (including a battle in a warehouse of… empty boxes?) and the script is strictly on autopilot. Watch something else. This isn’t even worth your time.