Simon Sez (1999)

(On VHS, September 2000) Dennis Rodman as the star of a new spy-movie franchise? Computer-expert monks? A gorgeous female assassin? A prissy Englishman villain? A Romeo-and-Juliet subplot? Wisecracks by an inept sidekick? Yellow motorcycles, big weapons and a gliding gadget-car? Yes, it’s bad, but not as bad as you might think for what basically amount to a vanity project for Rodman. The impressive cinematography helps a lot (can you go wrong by filming in Mediterranean France?) and if the script does no wonders, it seems to have at least a hint of self-derision to it. Granted, there are plenty of cringe-inducing moments, like two really bad CGI shots and the awful line “let’s work out”, but as a whole, it’s a surprisingly diverting film that should fit the bill for an otherwise-unoccupied Saturday evening… and long as you don’t expect anything.