D-Tox aka Eye See You (2002)

(On DVD, July 2005) Yup, the thought of seeing Sylvester Stallone in a slasher film is just as bad as what’s up there on the screen. Starts as a boring serial killer cop drama, then becomes even worse as a slasher film where the bodies pile up so quickly you barely have the time to register who’s dying. I’m not kidding: the first few victims are greeted by “What? Who?” before yet another person gets killed. The setting has promise (in the usual “dark and damp” category), but the rest is just tedious. Stallone, surprisingly, seems better than the surrounding material. It all implodes in a blah fashion: the killer is revealed, everyone shrug, no-one wonders why this film was held on the studio’s vaults for three years before making it straight to video. Too bad; the reviews from theatre film critics would have been entertaining to read. The DVD contains some useless extra material, including deleted scenes that are even more wretched than the whole film.