The Pacifier (2005)

(On DVD, August 2005) When considering a comedy/action hybrid explicitly produced by Disney, the only possible encouragement is a bland “well, what did you expect?” Yup: poopy jokes, awkward physical comedy, a plot that manages to waste ninjas and a chance for Vin Diesel to try “The Schwarzenegger Manoeuvre” in which an action star attempts a kid-friendly reputation. Vin is cool, even irreproachable, but the same can’t be said of a film that is quite obviously aimed at kids. That there’s violent gunplay, wrestling and a few deaths will no doubt strike a few as excellent training about today’s world for today’s kids. But even this said, the “action” in the film has been neutered almost beyond blandness, leaving most of the audience wondering who, exactly, is this film destined for. It doesn’t help that the script shows no signs of even occasional wit, and that the directing never improves on the screenplay. While there is enough in The Pacifier to keep us entertained, there isn’t really enough to keep us from saying “well, that wasn’t really good, now, wasn’t it?”