Basic Instinct 2 (2006)

(In theaters, April 2006) Aside from Sharon Stone, the only people who were actively waiting for this film were the cosmetic surgeons who made sure that Stone still holds together at her age. If you don’t mind bolted-on body parts that nonetheless hang on either side of her navel, you’ll probably find something effective in Basic Instinct 2; otherwise, well, it’s hard to avoid a serious case of the giggles which watching this train-wreck. Nominally billed as an “erotic thriller” rather than the far more honest “silly mess”, this sequel stars David Morrissey as one of the dumbest psychiatrist in England (“You’re addicted to risk! The only thing that will stop you is your own death! So, hey… wanna make out?”) and the most unintentionally hilarious script of the year. Partly set in London’s Gherkin Tower, it brings back memories of Match Point and suffers for the comparison. But perhaps the worst thing about the film is how defyingly boring it becomes in its latter half, as the film frantically tries to spin more and more plot twists that just don’t make sense, while actively failing to engage its audience. What becomes sadly obvious by the end is that frankly, no one actually cares about Stone’s character –and that this is a sequel most of us could very well have done without.