Iron Invader aka Metal Shifters (2011)

(On-demand Video, March 2012) I have watched too many cheap made-for-TV Science Fiction movies in the past few weeks, because I can’t even muster the faintest flicker of enthusiasm, affection, admiration or even sympathy for this film.  Faithfully following the ur-plot of the latest crop of cheap made-for-TV SF movies (ie; rising menace from a monster/disaster, mounting deaths, characters fighting off the monster), Iron Invader not only does not attempt to rise above mediocrity, but has trouble reaching that level.  A low budget can only excuse so much when the script is so poor.  It wouldn’t have cost anything extra to include compelling characters or interesting dialogue, but the film is stuck with cookie-cutter elements and brain-dead plot points (Alcohol being effective as an antiseptic?  Of course… except that it takes characters forever to realize it.  More effective than bleach?  That’s nonsense.)  Unfortunately, nothing in Iron Invader is interesting.  The alien menace is dull, the direction is pedestrian, the characters are forgettable and once it’s obvious that the film has neither a spark of interest nor any dose of self-awareness, it’s really hard to care.  I can usually find something nice to say about even the most wretched movies, but this one defeats me.