(On Cable TV, February 2013) If you accept the premise that comedies are supposed to make viewers laugh, then there are few more depressing feelings than watching one and waiting for the laughs to begin… only to be confronted with the end credits. Space Milkshake (which, unless I’m mistaken and I’m not about to go back to find out, features no milkshakes) is one of those laugh-free comedies where you wonder if the screenwriter spent any time thinking about jokes beyond the obvious word-blender silliness. Oh, so there are space garbagemen working a space station invaded by a villain showing up as a rubber duck? Fine: now bring in the jokes. Alas, Space Milkshake seems so intent on replicating an alien-invader-in-space plot structure that it becomes remarkably dull. The characters are generally unlikable, leading to dull banter and interminable “character moments”, the jokes fall flat, the plot goes exactly where you think it’s going, and the whole film seems more perfunctory than pleasant. (Heck, a character gets killed and replaced, and it’s treated as no big thing.) There may be a few things worth enjoying if you look hard enough: Kristin Kreuk looks cute as an electrically-charged robot with bangs, a rubber duck using tentacles to type on a keyboard could be amusing, I guess, and George Takei’s silky-smooth voice automatically raises the level of any production… even a dirt-cheap Canadian film shot in welcoming Regina, Saskatchewan. The film’s direction does show moments of competence given the small budget and the four actors. Still, the result is disappointing: Space Milkshake never meets its own goals, let alone surpass them: Viewers with low expectations may get something out of it, but it’s a cheap and dull comedy that’s not even worth the trouble of watching even when made available for free.