Christina Applegate

(In French, On Cable TV, October 2019) For posterity, let us note that the French title of Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead is Faut pas dire à maman que la gardienne mange les pissenlits par la racine (“Don’t tell Mom that the babysitter is eating dandelions by the roots”) which adds all sorts of added hilarity to it. Still, the title is probably funnier than the film itself—which isn’t as harsh a judgment as you’d think considering that its plot springs from the titular macabre situation to deliver an amusing coming-of-age story with more heart than dark humour. The first few minutes quickly set up the frame: A single mom leaving for Australia for the entire summer, leaving her four kids under the supervision of an elderly babysitter. Two or three scenes designed not to make us sorry for the babysitter’s titular death follow. But then what? The kids don’t want to admit to their mom that the babysitter’s, well, you know—and the babysitter took a summer’s worth of money with her in the grave. With an admirable lack of sense only found in 1990s movies made for teenagers, the kids have no one to call for help and so resolve to get jobs in order to pay for their groceries. One magnificent bluff and a trick of luck later, our protagonist (Christina Applegate, then at the height of her Married with Children fame) finds herself hired as an executive assistant with no idea on how to actually do the job. But the paycheck, and access to the petty cash, is more important. It all predictably explodes, but not without a late 1980s-style take on the corporate world, some mistaken-identity material and a climax that brings all facets of the protagonist identities imploding on themselves. There’s a rather heartwarming lesson at the end. Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead is not great art but it’s decently entertaining … even if it doesn’t have any intention of living up to its very specific title.