Harold P. Warren

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)

(TubiTV Streaming, September 2019) Wow, that was terrible. Given the choice of watching Manos: The Hands of Fate in its original version or MST3K mocking, I chose the original. That was a mistake. From the very beginning, we’re clearly at the mercy of amateur filmmakers: the grainy images are ineptly captured without apparent cinematography, the overdubbed dialogue features unconvincing acting and awkward pauses, the actors are not good and the special effects are laughable. And the story, well, the story could be written on a napkin with enough space left to wipe your anxious brow—there’s an incredible amount of padding in this 77-minute film. (Rarely heard but fair critical reaction: “Oh no, they’re cat-fighting again!”) The only way to survive is to mock the experience, which accounts for the film enjoying a comparatively high number of votes on IMDB (although I strongly suspect that most of those votes have seen the MST3K mockery rather than the real deal). Anyone who claims with a straight face that one of the latest Hollywood blockbuster is “the worst movie ever” seriously needs to recalibrate their senses by watching Manos: Hands of Fate or something similar—it’s a glimpse into how bad filmmaking can be. As such, this film isn’t exactly normal: Most such atrocities are buried and never seen again (no, not even on cable TV)—it’s a fluke of history that MST3K took an interest in the film and almost single-handedly revived it. As for me, I’m in the camp that Manos: The Hands of Fate is so bad that it’s bad—as in, there are few reasons to even see it as anything but incompetent cinema.