Underwater (2020)
(On Cable TV, October 2020) I’m not the world’s biggest Kirsten Stewart fan (and even less, if you want to be superficial about it, of short-haired blonde Kirsten Stewart, although that’s briefly eclipsed here by bespectacled-in-sports-underwear Kirsten Stewart), but even I have to admit that she’s the linchpin of mean-lean-B-movie thrill machine Underwater. The premise takes us deep on the ocean floor, where a research and drilling facility is severely damaged by mysterious earthquakes and, later, many slimy creatures. As the characters try to escape to safety, the film clearly establishes what it wants to be: a no-nonsense monster movie set in the claustrophobic confines of a deep-sea station. Director William Eubank cleanly juggles the aspects of a special-effects-heavy production, and the script eventually has the heroine punching Cthulhu in the face, which is really all the justification you need to see this film. Steward does pretty well here, and having Vincent Cassel as a grizzled veteran doesn’t hurt. Some great production design subtly highlights the science-fictional nature of the film (wow, those suits!), and there are plenty of suspense sequences to make this one of the best underwater horror movies since The Abyss. It pleasantly reminded me of those almost-extinct 1980s B-movies that weren’t meant to be masterpieces or blockbusters, but were designed to be fun films for a very specific crowd of fans. I’m a bit surprised at how well Underwater works, but it does work.