Open Graves (2009)
(In French, On Cable TV, April 2021) I had a bit of trouble making it to the end of Open Graves without falling asleep. Let’s see if I do any better describing it to you. A straight-to-video release from 2009, Open Graves has to do with a few surfer post-teenagers who discover a strange old game that… zzzz… okay, that didn’t take long. As I said: an old game in which the order in which they die in the game is reflected in what happens to them soon afterwards, as if the screenwriter threw the Jumanji script in a blender with one of the Final Destination sequels. (Fun fact: every single review of this film elsewhere on the web makes the exact same reference to Jumanji and Final Destination. This review also obliges.) I’ll admit that this description almost makes Open Graves sound interesting (although many, many screenwriters have blended those two scripts before), but the film doesn’t quite have what it takes, either in the writing or the directing, to keep things interesting. The cool-blue cinematography and soothing rhythms soon make viewers… zzzz… right. Occasionally, the film does something halfway interesting, like throwing in a car stunt that makes no sense in terms of physics but at least shows some budget shown on-screen and/or CGI flames. Plus, there’s Eliza Dushku in a prominent role, which reassures us that she was at least alive at the time of the film’s production. (But seriously: Wikipedia tells us that her gradual disappearance from acting over the past ten years obscures a return to school and motherhood. Congratulations!) Still, she’s very much not enough to save Open Graves from terminal boredom and cheap CGI overuse. This is the kind of by-the-numbers horror film featuring young adults being killed that you can plot in your sleep and… zzzz… well that was a trigger all right. Open Graves is really not worth any effort. Your finger may slip on the remote and you’ll end up watching it without much of a reaction. Thanks to director Álvaro de Armiñán, It’s not funny, it’s not overly gory, it’s not good, it’s not terrible: It just is.