Kirsten Stewart

  • Equals (2015)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (On TV, October 2021) As someone who has read a lot of Science Fiction at an impressionable age, there are a few basic plots that I can’t stand any more, or at least not without significant tweaks. “Living in a society that eradicates emotion” is one of them—I can’t believe in it, I think it’s a naïve concept and unless filmmakers bring something new to the table (such as the gunplay in Equilibrium), it’s useless to go take on literary classics such as Nineteen Eighty-Four or We. So when Equals comes barging in, convinced of the worth of its lame story about star-crossed lovers in a society that (somehow? For some reason?) has outlawed emotion, I am not necessarily on board. When it goes through the motions of a trite plot without much variation on the ur-plot of such stories, I am increasingly not on board. When it casts two of the least expressive, least subtle actors in the business, I am very definitely not on board. When it smothers everything with an excess of dull visuals, muted colours and humourlessness, I am so far away from the board as to not even knowing a board exists. Casting as expressionless an actress as Kirsten Stewart in the role of a young woman living in an emotionless society is either a misfire or perversely ironic— and coupling her with Nicholas Hoult is even worse. While Equals may work as baby’s first dystopian romance, it’s weak, tasteless brew compared to even the most average examples of the form.

  • Underwater (2020)

    Underwater (2020)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (On Cable TV, October 2020) I’m not the world’s biggest Kirsten Stewart fan (and even less, if you want to be superficial about it, of short-haired blonde Kirsten Stewart, although that’s briefly eclipsed here by bespectacled-in-sports-underwear Kirsten Stewart), but even I have to admit that she’s the linchpin of mean-lean-B-movie thrill machine Underwater. The premise takes us deep on the ocean floor, where a research and drilling facility is severely damaged by mysterious earthquakes and, later, many slimy creatures. As the characters try to escape to safety, the film clearly establishes what it wants to be: a no-nonsense monster movie set in the claustrophobic confines of a deep-sea station. Director William Eubank cleanly juggles the aspects of a special-effects-heavy production, and the script eventually has the heroine punching Cthulhu in the face, which is really all the justification you need to see this film. Steward does pretty well here, and having Vincent Cassel as a grizzled veteran doesn’t hurt. Some great production design subtly highlights the science-fictional nature of the film (wow, those suits!), and there are plenty of suspense sequences to make this one of the best underwater horror movies since The Abyss. It pleasantly reminded me of those almost-extinct 1980s B-movies that weren’t meant to be masterpieces or blockbusters, but were designed to be fun films for a very specific crowd of fans. I’m a bit surprised at how well Underwater works, but it does work.

  • Café Society (2016)

    Café Society (2016)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On TV, September 2020) I’ve made my peace with the idea that, despite my overall dubiousness about Woody Allen’s personal life, I will eventually see most of his movies. The latter half of his career has been exceptionally consistent: A mixture of some nostalgia, straightforward plotting, capable actors and no-nonsense filmmaking. Occasionally, a performance will get nominated for the Oscars, or a topic matter will strike the imagination of specific people—and that’s how I feel with the Golden Age Hollywood material in Café Society. Much of the film’s first half is spent in the shadows of the movie studio system of the 1930s, as a young man moves from New York to Los Angeles in the hope of something better in service of his uncle, a powerful studio executive. The patter is heavy with movie reference that would have completely flummoxed me before taking a crash course in classic movies, and that’s part of the fun as the characters name-drop like crazy. Don’t expect to spend much time on set, as the film is limited by its budget to show us tight angles on exteriors and sets that can approximate 1930s Los Angeles. That part of the film is actually fun, and shot with luminous clarity. Then things get more complicated, as our protagonist unsuccessfully romances his uncle’s secretary and eventually decides, upon being rebuffed, to go back to New York, where he’s able to help his mobster brother set up a nightclub. Much of Café Society’s second half plays off the thrill of the first, letting the pieces of an unconsummated romance fall where they are exposed in time for the wistful ending. It’s not bad, but it’s not designed to make you feel happy: the more the film advances, the more it becomes apparent that it’s reaching for regret rather than laughs. Oh well; that’s where Allen wants to go for this film. At least the acting talent is worth a look: Now that Allen merely narrates the film, Jesse Eisenberg is probably one of the two best actors to play Allen-like characters and his second time doing so after To Rome with Love. Kirsten Stewart is not bad opposite him, although she once again plays a very specific kind of character. Steve Carell flexes some antagonist muscles as the uncle wooing the same girl. In the end, the rush of the opening half having dissipated, Café Society fells like many, many twenty-first century Allen movies: pleasant enough to watch, with some good actors along the way and a decent-enough plot to follow, but not particularly memorable or worth getting excited about. Even by his latest standards, it’s middle-tier material.