Dolittle (2020)
(On Cable TV, November 2020) You can watch up to a few minutes’ worth of Dolittle without feeling that anything is wrong, but then, at semi-regular intervals comes the Dumb Thing. That Dumb Thing can take many forms, whether it’s a bit of amateurish staging, a flow of very contemporary slang uttered by talking animals (and I’m not merely talking modern slang in a Victorian context—I mean 2010s slang) or dubious comic ideas, such as performing a two-fisted colonoscopy on a dragon. Yeah… Considering that this is the third disappointing Dolittle film in three generations, it’s quite possible that there’s a curse of some sort on the property—or that, in attracting actors with a healthy ego in the lead role, the projects doom themselves from inception. If forced to choose, I’ll still pick this one as the best of the three—from a contemporary perspective, it’s not as plasticky or atonal as the 1967 Rex Harrison one. Nor is it as aggressively stupid as the 2001 Eddie Murphy version. On the other hand, its imagination seems severely stunted compared to the fantastic creatures of the Harrison version, and it’s not as clearly made for kids as was the Murphy version. But it has top-notch special effects for the animals, and a rather likable Robert Downey Jr. playing a variation on the ultracompetent overconfident persona that his current career phase has focused upon. Still, the succession of Dumb Things grates quite a bit, especially when they’re coupled with clear signs that the film was directed by committee and most likely redone in post-production: Much of the live-action dialogue is uttered without seeing the actors’ faces, the editing is unusually herky-jerky (often compressing what feels like minutes of action in a few dozen seconds), and the directing often doesn’t have crucial connective tissue: It makes for a very strange, subliminally upsetting viewing when the film can’t even achieve narrative fluency despite what looks like a very, very expensive production. Most of those suspicions are confirmed by rumours, then documented articles about the film’s unusually troubled production history (shades of the 1960s version right there!), including as many as three well-known directors involved in principal photography and extensive reshoots. We’ll probably know more about the film in a decade or two, but, in the meantime, we can probably tip a hat to the heroic efforts of those involved in Dolittle’s post-production odyssey, considering that they managed to turn out something that, for entire minutes at a time, feels watchable. Well, aside for the two dozen Dumb Things.