Taxi 5 (2018)
(On TV, August 2022) The French Taxi series is hardly a succession of distinctive films—I had to check my notes to confirm that I hadn’t skipped one along the way. But this fifth belated entry does manage to break from the previous four in existing in the same rough continuity, but replacing its leads with suspiciously similar successors. Once again, we have a cop and a car enthusiast as leads, except that this time the cop is the car enthusiast, while the nephew of the previous films’ car enthusiast is a bit of an idiot with few driving skills. That does change the dynamic a bit, but not really the intention in heading to sunny Marseilles for a plot that combines bank thieves (in an acknowledged lift from previous films) and car chases. Budget oblige, the car chase fans will have to be patient in waiting for Taxi 5 to prove its raison d’être—There are maybe four of them in the entire film, and the first two (a fast drive through Paris and a comedic chase in Marseilles with underpowered cars) feel like throat-clearing. The film gets better with its central showpiece, an action sequence that flips back and forth between a serious fast-car chase through Old Marseilles’ tiny streets, and a comedic pile-up that makes no sense but looks like stuntmen having fun (it brings to mind previous efforts from the Rémy Julienne stunt team—see the opening pile-up in Bon baisers de Hong Kong). Ironically, the final car chase on highways heading out of Marseilles is much faster but rather less exciting—a clear example of how car chases are about danger from the environment, not the speed of the cars themselves. That last action beat also ends on a very predictable note that apes the conclusion of 2 Fast 2 Furious, easily the weakest of the Fast and Furious franchise that this film is taking notes from. If I’m spending that much time talking about action sequences rather than the story or characters, it’s for the predictable reasons: Whenever it’s not racing, Taxi 5 is often a bore. The comic relief is overdone, especially when the film stops to spend time with an unlikable bunch of misfits staffing the local police force. It does marginally better whenever it’s focusing on likable lead Franck Gastambide (who also writes/directs) and the beautiful Sabrina Ouazani even if she’s severely under-used throughout. Alas, for some unexplainable reason, Taxi 5 seems to multiply sequences featuring the film’s most intolerable characters. The ratio of action to comedy is not ideal, nor is the film’s fascination with incompetence and abrasiveness. Combining the cop and the skilled driver doesn’t leave much for the other lead than goofing off, and it’s not that funny. You would think that filmmakers aiming for a crown-pleasing blockbuster would understand that… but no. Taxi 5 becomes the usual death-spiral spinoff sequel, made and featuring a B-team of less-talented people playing with elements they don’t quite understand. It does have a bare minimum of fast cars, cute girls and fast chases, but nothing more—and no one is holding their breath for Taxi 6. This series is done and has been done since the second film: let it die.