We’re No Angels (1989)
(On Cable TV, September 2021) On paper, We’re No Angels sounds unusual enough to be interesting. A remake of a 1955 film I’m unfamiliar with, it stars Robert de Niro and Sean Penn as two convicts who, during the 1930s, travel north to Canada but end up in an upstate New York monastery (shot in British Columbia) through a set of unusual circumstances, where they are mistaken for priests and develop a conscience. The big names are on the creative side as well: script from David Mamet, directed by Neil Jordan, with the female lead played by Demi Moore and an unbelievably young John C. Reilly in a minor role. Alas, the result quickly becomes underwhelming. Shot in dull shades of brown to assert that they’re not romanticizing the period, We’re No Angels feels duller, dumber and far less interesting than it should be. It’s not quite a religious film and yet not a religious film either. For a putative comedy, it feels slow, laborious and (fatally) unfunny. It meanders like its characters, vaguely bidding its time until only so many minutes are left before the epiphany that announces the ending. We’re No Angels is too slickly produced to be terrible, but it’s still not all that good.