Casa privata per le SS [Private House of the SS aka SS Girls] (1977)

(In French, On Cable TV, July 2020) While you ponder the mysteries of the universe, I’ll be sitting here wondering all sorts of questions about Private House of the SS. Like: What is this film doing playing on a French-Canadian Cable TV channel dedicated to horror films when it’s not particularly violent? Sure, it’s pure nazisploitation stuff—after all, it’s a Bruno Mattei joint filled with Nazis training naked women to be spies by seducing important men. That’s it for plot—other than a sadistic ending, much of the film is one softcore pornography sequence after another, except so badly and bluntly executed that it’s impossible to get aroused by any of it. I’m thankful that the usual gore and violence of the usual nazisploitation films aren’t here, but it’s not as if what remains is any better. While marginally less vile than films like Isla, She-Wolf of the SS, this Private House of the SS is pointless with a bare-bones “plot” that resolves on a whim. Add a few questions to the enigma of this film: Why does it exist? Who was it made for? Is anyone even watching Private House of the SS these days? And more importantly, why should they?