Fire Maidens from Outer Space (1956)

(On TV, August 2021) I’ve seen at least one mention of Fire Maidens from Outer Space as being the worst movie even made and that’s nonsense — yes, it’s terrible and cheap and ludicrous and exploitative by 1950s standards. A made-in-Britain science fiction adventure in which astronauts going to Jupiter discover an Earth-like planet (as in: we’re filming in our backyard) inhabited by seven lusty maidens, one mad scientist and a monster. It’s as primitive a science fiction concept as possible. The plot threads are naïve, the dialogue banal and the special effects cribbed together from spare parts. But, as usual, hyperbole destroys everything — there are far worse films out there, whereas Fire Maidens from Outer Space does have a plot of sorts, some baffling watchability and some scene-to-scene momentum. One thing that I found surprisingly charming about the result (thus giving it at least one star of interest) is how, by today’s standards, writer-director-producer Cy Roth quaintly dances around its exploitative premise. The girls are cute, curvy and in short skirts, but the film (coming from the prudish 1950s) winks and nudges at its audience (a planet with five men and sixteen women, eh, eh, eeeh) in ways that seem almost wholesome by twenty-first century standards. At 78 minutes, it barely outstays its welcome. You can (and should!) compare it to near-contemporary Queen of Outer Space, then skip over to Barbarella and other 1960s naughty space movies. In the so-bad-it’s-good realm, Fire Maidens from Outer Space is… there.