I Love You, Beth Cooper (2009)

(In French, On Cable TV, September 2021) It’s certainly possible that all teenage high-school romantic comedies are timeless — that despite the gadgets introduced or taken away over the years, teenagers are still more or less the same as they’ve been for decades, and that their struggles are the same. That would explain why I Love You, Beth Cooper is so familiar despite being twelve years old by now, and why it barely earns anything more than a shrug. The spark is there, though — as the film begins, an overeager valedictorian makes the titular lovelorn confession in front of a crowd — despite Cooper already being in a relationship and our protagonist not having much of a chance. But Hollywood has a magic of its own, and before long our protagonist and his best friend are palling around with Cooper and her two best friends. Compressing the action in one madcap day, I Love You, Beth Cooper goes through the expected motions, with Cooper not being the girl everyone thought, bullies being humbled, sexual discoveries made and adventures had. It’s not intolerable, but there are so many little annoying things about the result that it just feels off. The humiliation comedy is considerable, and the film has dubious ideas about comedy that are fit to make anyone squint in doubt. For director Chris Columbus (who’s hardly a can’t-miss director), this is a misfire of unusual proportions. Paul Rust doesn’t do too badly as the male lead, but Hayden Panettiere isn’t anything special as Cooper — dozens of actresses could have done just as well, if not better. I Love You, Beth Cooper all amounts to a curiously disposable teen romantic comedy — frantic and disorganized, often trying too hard (such as the movie quotes-spouting character) but whose formulaic delivery can’t ignite the material. It wasn’t good when it came out, isn’t good now and won’t be good in another dozen years… but I can guarantee that teenagers won’t have changed much by then.