Equals (2015)

(On TV, October 2021) As someone who has read a lot of Science Fiction at an impressionable age, there are a few basic plots that I can’t stand any more, or at least not without significant tweaks. “Living in a society that eradicates emotion” is one of them—I can’t believe in it, I think it’s a naïve concept and unless filmmakers bring something new to the table (such as the gunplay in Equilibrium), it’s useless to go take on literary classics such as Nineteen Eighty-Four or We. So when Equals comes barging in, convinced of the worth of its lame story about star-crossed lovers in a society that (somehow? For some reason?) has outlawed emotion, I am not necessarily on board. When it goes through the motions of a trite plot without much variation on the ur-plot of such stories, I am increasingly not on board. When it casts two of the least expressive, least subtle actors in the business, I am very definitely not on board. When it smothers everything with an excess of dull visuals, muted colours and humourlessness, I am so far away from the board as to not even knowing a board exists. Casting as expressionless an actress as Kirsten Stewart in the role of a young woman living in an emotionless society is either a misfire or perversely ironic— and coupling her with Nicholas Hoult is even worse. While Equals may work as baby’s first dystopian romance, it’s weak, tasteless brew compared to even the most average examples of the form.