Hypothermia (2010)

(In French, On Cable TV, October 2021) At a mere 72 minutes, you would think that creature horror feature Hypothermia wouldn’t waste your time… but that’s a generous assumption. There simply isn’t enough narrative to fill up even that time. Consider that it’s about a family ice-fishing trip and an aquatic monster (« climate change » blablabla) eating a few of the cast. That’s… it. Even the ending takes the rather unusual tack of allowing survivors to escape without taking care of the monster. (But not before a funny final speech in which the mom speaks to the monster as if it was listening intently.)  Michael Rooker stars, but it’s clearly just a paycheque for him, and the same sense of dutiful professionalism from writer-director James Felix McKenney permeates a film that never rises above the basics. I did, as a Canadian, like the idea of ice fishing as a setting… but I can tell you from personal experience that freezing for hours while watching a hole in the river ice is far more entertaining (because of the company) than watching Hypothermia.