Movie Review

(In theaters, June 2002) There isn’t much to tell about this film, mostly because it’s so vacuous. The premise is familiar and short enough to be explained away in a thirty-second trailer, but the resolution is given away in the very first shot of the film, leaving the rest as little more than an exercise in filling in the numbers. Okay, so Angeline Jolie, Edward Burns and Tony Shaloub are talented actor who can rise above the material they’re given, but sadly, the screenwriter isn’t particularly gifted, and Life Or Something Like It flops around, goes through the motions and generally delivers what we expect from it, which isn’t much given that it’s a romantic comedy. I wish we could have had a longer glimpse of Jolie-as-a-teen-rocker (With glasses! Whoaah!), but that’s just me; the film does nothing with it. And so should we.

(In theaters, June 2002) After two years on the shelves, the latest installment of the Friday The 13^th series is finally unleashed in theaters, with a title change and what I guess is an attitude change. After years of derivative knocks-offs, Jason X offers something (slightly) new; a rampaging serial killer… in spaaace! Well, okay, it’s not new after Hellraiser: Bloodline and Leprechaun 4: In Space, but it’s certainly a step more original than anything the series has had to offer before. Alas, the irritating porn-like slasher film structure is still left untouched. But the film exhibits an amusing self-awareness (“Do you want to have pre-marital sex? We love pre-marital sex!”) and even (gasp) some degree of SF literacy (take your pick; cryogenic death, nanotechnology or a funny riff on the whole Alien/Terminator concept). For us guys, it’s a shame that three of the lead actresses look alike and that, alas, the nudity is limited to a few all-too-brief seconds. Even though I generally loathe that type of horror film, I found a few things to like in Jason X, enough to generally enjoy myself for the duration of the film. It’s no classic, but it may be worth a look.

(In theaters, June 2002) The second cinema adaptation of the classic “Asterix & Obelix” comic book, and it was a risky proposition: Not only is the first (animated) movie rightfully considered a classic (ooh, those musical numbers… “Quand l’appétit va, tout va!”), but the first live-action Asterix and Obélix wasn’t very well received critically. This second live-action film is better than the lackluster Astérix et obélix contre César and falls short of the insane greatness of Astérix et Cléopatre, but still results in a rather good historical fantasy-comedy. The style is often frenetic, with plenty of sight gags, multiple anachronisms, some good dialogue and a constant sense of fun. Mission Cléopatre is so packed with jokes that even though non-French-European viewers (including French-Canadians) might not understand half the gags, there are still more than enough left to amuse. It relies a lot on pop culture, though (including a reference to Star Wars), so I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not nearly as good in ten or fifteen years. In the meantime, enjoy the performances, the jokes and the visual effects.

(In theaters, May 2002) Ryan Reynolds has a good turn as protagonist van Wilder and Tara Reid can be luminous when she wants to, but Van Wilder generally sputters from lame gags to vile gross-outs. No wonder the film tanked at the box-office, yet another sign that teen comedy has once again moved beyond the simple eeew! phase. Otherwise, there isn’t much more to say. It’s a dumb campus film that can’t be saved by the grins of its lead actors, however sympathetic they may be. Quote of the film: “Are you stalking me? Because that would be super!”

(In theaters, May 2002) As a big fan of the source Tom Clancy novel, I can’t help but grimace at some of the changes and simplifications made to the original novel. But even I have to recognize that the film adaptation is much better-paced than the original. Even the idea of casting a younger Jack Ryan works splendidly. In fact, the only problem I have with the film adaptation is that one of the novel’s most thrilling threads (which eventually forces Ryan to start a constitutional crisis) is abandoned. But there’s so much good stuff in the end film that it’s almost ungrateful to complain (heck, even Pat Foley is in there!): For maybe the first time in recent memory, we have a film version of a true techno-thriller. (I could have done without the warehouse fight, though). Anyone looking at the film as an action movie is bound to be disappointed; this is a thriller, with intelligence and cleverness as the main weapons. There are weak moments (who couldn’t predict that the French ex-conspirator would be killed almost immediately?) and dull stretches, but overall, the film is true in spirit to the book, and the book was a fantastic story. Cheers, relief and hurrahs: This one’s worth a look.

(Second viewing, On DVD, January 2003) Filmed Thrillers are not rare, but filmed techno-thrillers certainly are. So are filmed thrillers that take The Big View, dealing knowledgeably with affairs of states from the perspective of the states: Cinema simply doesn’t have the depth required to make such stories believable. And yet, The Sum Of All Fears, despite the radical simplifications of the original novel’s plot, works splendidly. It’s a thoughtful, professional film that makes interesting artistic choices and then sticks to them. (No countdown? Audacious!) It holds up really well to a second viewing, though the similarities to Jack Ryan’s previous adventure The Hunt For Red October are harder to ignore given his once-again role as the rookie analyst plunged in action. (This is not a sequel, but a new first chapter in another series, we’re told). The DVD contains a few informative supplements, plus a wonderful commentary track with director Phil Robinson and author Tom Clancy: “Hi, my name is Tom Clancy. I’m the author of the book they ignored while making this film.” Clancy is a grouchy good sport, calling out “this is bullsh*t” several times on scenes he judges implausible. Director Robinson repeatedly catches him off-guard with some new information, though. Good fun, good movie.

(Downloaded, May 2002) Take five die-hard Star Wars geeks, give them a big-screen TV, sugared drinks and a VCD copy of Episode II downloaded a full week before it hits theaters, and you have an instant nerd-MST3K party! Then watch with amazement as said five geeks start shouting back at the screen with reckless abandon, jeering Jar-Jar, cheering Samuel L. Jackson, pointing out the parade of stupid logical holes and screaming like little girls at the Yoda light-saber duel! Awful sound and even lousier picture quality ensures at least one subsequent trip to the theater, but the ghastly dialogue, appalling romance subplot and lackluster pacing can’t be corrected by a big screen and big sound. But oh, the laughs they had…

(Second viewing, In theaters, May 2002) Big Screen! Big Sound! Even after seeing Episode II on VCD-rip, a trip to the theater screen is mandatory to extract all the audiovisual goodness from this ILM demo reel. Story, you say? Blah; Lucas can’t be bothered to write a good script from even the most exciting elements, as he amply shows here. There’s a romance. A godawful romance. A romance starring aliens, because no humans act like that. A romance by George Lucas. Be afraid. Or close your eyes and hum loudly until the last forty minutes, which are impressive from an action standpoint. The visual polish of the film is astonishing, and it better be, because most of the actors don’t seem to know what they’re doing. The lead couple is especially bad, which is a surprise given that both Hayden Christianssen and Natalie Portman have proven to be good thespians elsewhere. Oh no; is that more proof that George Lucas can’t direct actors? Well, he can’t think logically either, because the film is filled with logical stupidities that even the dullest viewer can spot. That it, if they’re not wowed by the Yoda-Dooku fight (Yay!) and the spectacular combat scenes… am I starting to repeat myself? Hm. Think so, I do.

(Third viewing, In theaters, May 2002) I’m not a card-carrying Star Wars geek, but that’s going to be hard to prove after seeing the film for a third time the month of its initial release. Hey, I plead the usual extenuating circumstances (workplace outing, pretty girl at my side, etc.) but it still doesn’t change the fact that I’m seeing the damn film for a third time in as many weeks. The bad points still stick out; the atrocious romance subplot, weak dialogues, simplistic politics and bad plotting are worse than ever. On the other hand, the really good sequences of the film still hold up; the asteroid battle is a joy, as is the final land war, the Yoda fight sequences and the arena Jedi/droid battle. There is enough eye-candy to maintain interest, which is something of an achievement for such a poorly-written film. I think I now have my fill of the film, at least until the DVD hits the bargain bins.

(Fourth viewing, On DVD, February 2003) Some movies just aren’t meant to be seen four times in a single year. While the action sequences of this “Episode II” still hold up under scrutiny, the rest of the movie simply grates. At least the DVD contains an informative commentary track, though it predictably focuses more on the technical aspect of the film than the story. In fact, any attempts by Lucas and al to give some legitimacy to the plot are a bit amusing. (Though, to George’s credit, at least he’s aware of Kevin Smith’s work.) The rest of this double-DVD edition is packed with extras, so at least the fans of the film can it knowing that it’ll do until the super-duper-mega enhanced one Lucasfilm is liable to release in a few years. Not that I’ll need to see the film again until then.

(In theaters, May 2002) I have a soft spot for sunny Californian cop comedies, but Showtime really messes it up by trying to pass off as something it clearly can’t be. The story sets up Robert de Niro as a crusty pro cop forced to team up with a younger showboat (Eddie Murphy, getting old for these roles) in order to become the reluctant star of a reality-TV show. Interesting potential for a humorous take-off on buddies cop comedies, reality shows and the differences between TV cops and real cops. There even a particularly amusing sequence in which William Shatner, as himself, teaches the protagonist how to act like cops à la T.J. Hooker! But Showtime really messes up by, on one hand, decrying all the clichés and on another, ending with a half-hour in which all of the clichés are used. Combined to the weak script, the grating antics of Murphy and the tired nature of some gags, the film proves to be lacking substance and ends up being a waste of talent and opportunity. Too bad!

(On VHS, May 2002) Lukewarm straight-to-video drama about a hit man and his domineering father. What could have been a fun Simpsons episode is transformed in a full-blown bore-fest. Hey, at least it’s good to see Neve Campbell get work again, but that’s a small comfort. William H. Macy is fine as the tortured protagonist and Donald Sutherland is suitably conniving as the father, but unless you’ve got a fetish for hit men family dramas, I wouldn’t bother. Life’s too short. What if a hit man is gunning for you right now? Would you want to waste your last remaining hours watching featureless movies like this one?

(On DVD, May 2002) Sometimes, good old-fashioned entertainment is all you need. There isn’t anything particularly new or innovative in this medieval jousting sports drama/romance, but it does what it has to do quite well. Heath Ledger aptly carries the whole film on his shoulders, but he’s helped considerably by the presence of capable character actors, most notably Paul Bettany as “the” Geoffrey Chaucer and Shannyn Sossamon in her debut role. (Her resemblance to Angelina Jolie is astonishing, but she doesn’t get the chance to show much range in this typical romantic role.) The script is adequately written, with moments that actually improve on subsequent viewings. The jousting scenes are deservedly spectacular, giving us an idea of what it must have looked like to medieval audiences. Much has been said about the anachronistic use of pop music in the film’s soundtrack, but when all is sung, it seems almost a shame that more such fun touches haven’t been used. Then again, A Knight’s Tale successfully walks a fine line between unabashed contemporary entertainment and reasonably convincing historical re-creation. In any case, few will be left disappointed by this joyfully entertaining film. The DVD offers everything you could be looking for; information on the stunts, some historical background, a few worthwhile deleted scenes and a hilarious self-depreciating commentary by director/writer Brian Helgeland and co-star Bettany.

(In theaters, May 2002) A plot summary of this film reads like a full bingo-card of things I generally don’t really care to see: It’s an independent romantic comedy in which a Jewish New-Yorker career woman -tired of meaningless dating- falls in love with another girl, an artist who will make our heroine realize who she truly is. Awww. What I didn’t expect is how adorable Jessica Stein would be (she’s played by co-writer Jennifer Westfeldt, and you’d better remember that name!), how witty the script is and how I got so genuinely interested in the overall story. There isn’t too much in terms of sexual politics here, and people on both sides are likely to find fault with the film if they really want to. (In many ways, it’s a coming-of-age story more than a romantic comedy about Jews, lesbians or whatevers) New York really shines here; there aren’t any landmarks shots, but the street-level cinematography gives a better feel for the real city than any of the other blockbuster New-York films I recall seeing recently. (Well, okay, maybe at the exception of Keeping The Faith). The wonderful script is literate and unusually adept at defining its characters. Finding Kissing Jessica Stein might be a challenge at your local video store, but it’s well worth the effort. Even if you don’t think you’ll enjoy it, hey, you just might.