J’ai tué ma mère [I Killed My Mother] (2009)
(On TV, November 2020) Seeing J’ai tué ma mère after nearly every other film in the Xavier Dolan filmography, I have the impression that I’ve found the origin myth of his career. If you compare this directorial debut to his other movies (and you almost have to, considering the repetition of themes and stylistic affectations), it’s markedly weaker—it feels like a first draft of Mommy and everything that Dolan would revisit in his next half-dozen movies. It doesn’t stand up very well on its own now that Dolan has done better, and the rough production values only hint at what he went on to do with bigger budgets. But, of course, it should not be seen under such a harsh retrospective glare—Dolan was literally a teenager when he wrote and directed this semi-autobiographical story about a difficult mother/son relationship. He certainly doesn’t come across as likable here, but after a one-sided start, you also come to understand why he hates his mother so much. Beyond the themes, J’ai tué ma mère also shows the stylistic quirks that would also grace Dolan’s later films—pop music, montages, idiosyncratic directing, etc. But it doesn’t quite hold up as well now that Dolan has fulfilled the promises created by this first film—in literally every aspect, he has improved and done better in later movies. This makes J’ai tué ma mère best suited for a somewhat specific public, more eager to dig into Dolan’s filmography than appreciate the film at face value. Let’s just say that if you can recognize the landlord character as a split-second cameo from Dolan’s father (legendary singer and actor Manuel Tadros), then you’re ready to see it in its ideal context.