Amityville 3-D (1983)

(On Cable TV, October 2021) You could make a point that watching a 3D movie on a 2D screen is a good way to expose the ridiculousness of the result, but that fails to consider that, no matter the number of dimensions, Amityville 3-D is an exceptionally dumb movie. Clearly belonging to the “throw in as much spooky stuff even if it doesn’t make sense any more” school of bad horror films, this third instalment often feels like a hyperactive kid rushing through a variety of events at breakneck pace. It can’t focus on anything, and it kills off characters the moment it suspects we’re in danger of no longer paying attention. Legal rights issues meant that this sequel was untethered to any of the original characters except the house, further helping the result to go everywhere and anywhere. One of the few highlights of the mess is seeing a young Meg Ryan in a disposable role. It ends with the destruction of the house, thanks to a basement well conveniently filled with demons. In other words: all familiar stuff, plus the craziness of the anything-goes nature of the plotting and some touch of further excess thanks to the now hilarious 3D effects. It’s not good, but it’s just a touch more entertaining than expected.