13 Minutes (2021)

(On Cable TV, September 2022) When is a disaster film not a disaster film? The answer to such a tautological question may be more interesting than you think. In some very specific ways, 13 Minutes is unarguably a film about a disaster: It spends roughly an hour establishing its ensemble cast of characters living in a small Midwestern town. But don’t fret—as writer-director-producer Lindsay Gossling’s constant reminders foretell, a tornado is about to land, leaving everyone with the titular 13 minutes to get to safety. That disaster sequence is easily the film’s highlight, with a decent—but not great—use of sound design, tight directing and special effects to give the impression of what it would be like to be in the path of an impending tornado. There’s also some fine footage of a destroyed suburb after the tornado hits. But those rare highlights are measured against some dismal lows—from an overall atmosphere of melodrama to a blatant use of hot-button social issues to the unlikable characters to a dull understanding of suspense and dramatic progression. This means that once the disaster’s done, there’s no real investment in seeing who died, who survived and what happens next. You can also point at the structure of the film as further evidence that 13 Minutes isn’t a true disaster film—usually, the initial disaster sets up another catastrophe that the characters rush to avert, but this doesn’t happen here. You can point at the use of social issues as another difference: while disaster films have their ensemble cast deal with personal dramas of their own, they’re rarely as didactic and self-righteous as when the screenplay wraps itself in virtue of decrying discrimination against the immigrants, the poor, the homosexuals and the disabled. But the most crucial difference is one of tone: 13 Minutes, at the possible exception of when the disaster lands, is not fun. It’s not entertaining, it’s not spectacular, it’s not likable, and it’s not compelling. It’s as if a tornado landed in the middle of a boring performative social drama that would not be worth watching in the first place. The low budget of the film can’t be blamed for its fundamental flaws: It’s not a good sign when you root for the disaster in a disaster film—even in a fake disaster film.