The Maiden Heist (2009)

(On TV, November 2022) If you swear that you’ve seen The Maiden Heist before it even concludes, that may be because the “geezer heist thriller” has become a viable subgenre in the past decade (as aging stars struggle to maintain their box-office appeal), and especially since 2017’s Going in Style shares Morgan Freeman with The Maiden Heist. Of course, it’s not quite identical—here, we have elderly security guards at a New York City art museum being distressed at the thought of their favourite masterpieces being transferred to Europe, and engineering a heist to make sure they keep it for themselves. If that doesn’t sound too noble (art should be for everyone!), well… deal with it, because it’s one of the film’s main flaws. Freeman, Christopher Walken and William H. Macy all star as the three guards conspiring to keep their favourites from emigrating, with Marcia Gay Harden playing support. Thanks to director Peter Hewitt, the result is straightforward, even if the script feels slightly undercooked and can’t do much to paper over a not-so-compelling premise. With Going in Style, the heist motivations were transparently mercenary—here, the art thing feels like a contrivance. (Take a picture, we’re tempted to say: it will last longer.)  It’s certainly watchable—but I’m not sure I’ll be able to tell it apart from other similar films in a few months.