Don’t go in the Woods (1981)
(In French, On Cable TV, July 2022) “Ugly, cheap and dispiriting” is a perfectly accurate shorthand review for most early-1980s slashers, and it fits Don’t Go in the Woods even better than most. A horror film set in a forest, it follows four incredibly annoying campers (most of them out of their element) who stumble into the territory of a psychopathic killer. (Actually, it’s worse than that—we follow four campers, as half a dozen other trekkers are brutally killed in a matter of days—but we are supposed to care just for the campers!) Lower-than-low production values meet an even worse script and a psychopathic glee for portraying violent deaths, and the result is a slasher film only distinctive because it’s set against mountains scenery. There’s no skill to the way director James Bryan approaches the material—no buildup, no suspense, just one act of violence after another. The last shot is a cheap stomach turner. The early 1980s were a terrible time for cinema if only because it witnessed the largest boom in awful slasher horror films—and Don’t Go in the Woods is somewhere in the lowest tier of such movies. Avoid. Just remember, kids: Don’t go in the woods. It’s a warning.