Sofia Vergara

Lords of Dogtown (2005)

Lords of Dogtown (2005)

(In French, On Cable TV, June 2019) I like movies that are about a specific time and place, and Lord of Dogtown couldn’t be more specific about taking place in California during the mid-seventies. There was an unprecedented drought at the time, and that led to many pools being drained for the summer, which happened just as skateboarding was revolutionized by the introduction of urethane wheels. The script, written by Stacy Peralta (who was close to the events and people described) focuses on a group of friends during that summer as they go skateboarding from one empty pool to another, breaking up and turning professional in their practice of the sport. Lords of Dogtown is not a good-looking movie: in an attempt to emulate the look of contemporary cameras, director Catherine Hardwicke goes for a harsh bleached and grainy look. But her direction is impressive, going handheld in an attempt to stick as closely as possible to the action. The stunt work in the action sequences is in-your-face, with several actors taking spills along the way. The cast itself is worth a look, including a number of people (Heath Ledger, America Ferrara, Sofia Vergara, Emile Hirsch, Rebecca de Mornay) that went on to star in much bigger movies. Baby-faced Michael Angarano is even more baby-faced here. There are also tons—and I mean dozens—of cameos from the movie and the skateboarding world. The French translation is surprisingly well done—The period soundtrack is excellent, and there’s even a good pun in here that wouldn’t work in the original English. While Lords of Dogtown is more impressive as a time-travelling capsule and an action showcase than a traditional dramatic film, that’s fine—not every movie adapted from real events has to be an Oscar-baiting drama.

Hot Pursuit (2015)

Hot Pursuit (2015)

(Video on Demand, August 2015) Viewer!  Hey, viewer!  Did you know that Sofia Vergara’s persona is a beautiful fiery high-class woman with a shrill Spanish accent?  Knowing this, and being able to rely on Reese Witherspoon as the straight-woman of the duo, you can now write about two-third of the jokes in Hot Pursuit, a crime comedy built almost entirely around Vergara’s ability to deliver what she does best.  It’s not a bad film, but it’s obviously formula-driven to a distracting point.  It’s a good thing that Vergara and Witherspoon have an easy chemistry, otherwise the film would fall flat.  But they do, and the film flies highest when both are engaged in physical comedy of some sort, either falling outside windows or vamping it up for unsuspecting supporting characters.  There’s a pleasant rhythm to it, and it’s undemanding enough not to be disappointing in the right frame of mind.  It probably could have been a bit tighter, a bit funnier and a bit wittier, but the point of the film is to showcase its two lead actresses, and anything that allows this objective to be fulfilled is good enough.  I usually find Witherspoon unremarkable and Vergara annoying –so it’s a mark of Hot Pursuit’s success that I actually found both of them likable in their own way.  Still, there’s no use denying the domination of the film by its own formula –if you’re looking for something off-beat, then keep going.

Machete Kills (2013)

Machete Kills (2013)

(On Cable TV, August 2014) I’m a long-time fan of Robert Rodriguez’s films (all the way back to Desperado on VHS), but it sure looks as if he’s spent the last decade repeating himself with a long series of sequels and spin-offs.  Machete Kills is the third film to be spun off from 2007’s Grindhouse, and it suggests that the joke has been played out.  Not that the film itself is unpleasant to watch: As you may expect from its neo-grindhouse inspiration, it’s suitably over-the-top, allowing Rodriguez and his ensemble cast to have a lot of fun by sending up an assortment of action movie clichés.  Danny Trejo is compelling as usual as the titular Machete, but it’s a toss-up as to whether he’s having as much fun as Mel Gibson (as a Bond-grade villain), Charlie Sheen (as a lecherous President) or Sofia Vergara (using her shrill persona to good effect, for once).  Even Lady Gaga gets a role as a shape-shifting assassin.  The action gets silly quickly and never lets basic disbelief being an obstacle.  It’s all good fun, except that Rodriguez’s low-budget aesthetics (tight framing, cheap special effects, lazy blocking, editing that allows actors to share a scene without ever having been in the same room together) are less satisfying than one would expect… especially once they’re repeated too often.  Rodriguez can command bigger budgets than he used to at the beginning of his career –he should use that power for a few money shots.  Still, despite the over-the-top action, shameless exploitation (often going straight to comic parody) and self-aware ridiculousness, there’s a sense that Machete Kills is a bit too big for its aw-shucks attitude.  By focusing on the comedy, it even loses a bit of the edge that the first Machete had, and the focus on violence while downplaying the nudity is a step in the wrong direction.  It’s too long for its own good, and in stretching out some of its duller stretches, invites tiresomeness.  It probably doesn’t help that this is Rodriguez’s umpteenth return to the same source: For all of the chuckles and I-can’t-believe-I’m-seeing-this outrageousness, by the time the end credits roll, there’s no need for a third Machete outing.  Let’s leave well-enough alone and let’s hope that Rodriguez does something a bit fresher for his next effort.

New Year’s Eve (2011)

New Year’s Eve (2011)

(On Cable TV, May 2013) Ensemble movies are a tricky mixture: there are usually too many characters and not enough running time to do them justice, and that’s even before getting into the sad fact that not all stories are equally as compelling.  New Year’s Eve does its best at using pre-built sympathy for Dec.31 to launch a tapestry of romantic subplots, but the results are still variable.  The links between the characters are intricate (sometimes even played for ironic laughs, as the moment near the end where we think two characters are racing to meet… only to pass each other on the street as they race to get to someone else) and figuring them out can be a good way to keep those synapses busy… but the real point of New Year’s Eve is a big mushy feeling of romantic satisfaction by the time the end credits roll.  Director Garry Marshall does his best to keep everything interesting while juggling roughly two dozen name actors, but the script isn’t his best friend in this regard.  In fact, New Year’s Eve may be most remarkable for its inability to deliver a consistently enjoyable subplot.  Everything feels contrived, conventional, overly dramatic or implausible beyond belief.  Zac Efron romancing Michelle Pfeiffer?  Eh, why not –but don’t expect anyone but those two to care.  While it’s hard to single out any actor as being better than the others, it’s not so difficult to identify those who are more irritating than others: Sofia Vergara is particularly exasperating in her usual shrill near-incomprehensible screen persona.  Katherine Heigl also does herself no favour by reinforcing her already-annoying typecasting.  Otherwise, the best the actors can do in this mess is to remain unnoticed.  It’s not as if New Year’s Eve is dislikable; in fact, much of the issues with the film are that it tries so hard to be loved that it feels desperate in taking no chances.  See it at the tail end of Dec.31 if you must, but don’t let it come between you and any meaningful contact with your loved ones.