You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger (2010)
(In French, On TV, December 2021) Coming from the end of his London period, You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger has writer-director Woody Allen at his most inconclusive. As an ensemble film following many, many characters as they all go through personal trials in contemporary London, the film does have its strength. The best of those is clearly the cast. At the time, Allen could still attract top talent, and that’s how the film features no less an eclectic group than Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas, Freida Pinto, Lucy Punch or Naomi Watts. The story arguably gets rolling when (in early flashbacks) a long-time couple divorces. She turns to fortune-telling to make sense of her life, while he turns to younger women for hire. (He eventually gets married to one such escort, with predictable results.) Their daughter is having a hard time with her novelist husband, who earns “most despicable character” status after he starts an affair with a neighbour and steals a book manuscript from a friend in a coma. There are plenty of small subplots, but the common theme running through all of them is that the film ends just as things were getting interesting for all the characters — the new husband is unsure of his paternity; the thieving writer is dumped and aware that his novelist friend came out of his coma; the daughter is unable to start her own gallery… and so on. It’s very much a tale of stories interrupted, and while this is clearly the intention, it doesn’t make the film any better. (Allen would then leave London to go on a rejuvenating European tour for his next few films.) Not every Allen film is a solid hit, but You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger seems more disappointing than most: all build-up, no conclusion.