Month: September 1999

(On TV, September 1999) One learns a lot from a movie while doing the dishes while it plays on TV. First; made-for-TV films are never of superior quality. Two; beautiful actresses can make you look at the screen even if what they’re doing isn’t really interesting. Three; it’s a very bad sign if you can’t remember the end of the film only two days later. Four; There is still no reason to disprove the axiom that “any movie title containing cyber is sign of a rotten script”. Five; When making a film about a pop signer, don’t repeat the same song four times, especially if it bears an uncanny resemblance to a Republica song. Six; washing dishes while watching a completely empty film still gives you the feeling you’ve accomplished something.

(On TV, September 1999) It’s hard to see where a soft-porn film about car crashes can go wrong for any young male, but David Cronenberg’s film never amounts to anything beyond a collection of brief sex scenes. And even then, most of those are cut so quickly as to be insignificant. If it’s supposed to be an exploration of sex versus machine, it doesn’t do a whole lot of exploring. The lack of development is such that once the superfluous is cut out, there can’t be much more than fifteen minutes of plot left. (At least Deborah Kara Unger is very hot, so much that she makes plain-looking Holly Hunter look ridiculous in comparison.) Say what you want about porn films, but most of them contain both more plot and more excitement -and, possibly, more realism- than Crash.

(On TV, September 1999) This may not be the most convincing thriller out there, but it works despite the numerous logical flaws, editing glitches and coherence problems it contains. The script scream “contrivance!” each time a new oh-so-dangerous situation emerges, regardless of previous continuity. The tough-but-sensitive protagonist role seems custom-built for Sylvester Stallone, who turns in a convincing performance. Director Renny Harlin obviously knows how to build a thriller, and Cliffhanger includes several money shots that elevate this action film from fair to good.

(On TV, September 1999) In an industry often incompetent enough to be unable to turn out decent product, it’s a refreshing change to see a perfectly good thriller so well-done. No earth-shattering villains, no save-the-world histrionics; just an ordinary guy looking for his wife, and battling plain blue-collar baddies. The pacing is superb, the direction is surprisingly competent and Kurt Russell turns in a fine performance. Though not without significant plot flaws (relying too much on coincidences in the first half-hour), Breakdown remains a superior, unassuming little thriller done strictly according to the rules of the genre. And that’s more than good enough.

(In theaters, September 1999) This works pretty well, provided you do consider it as what it is; an updated Beverly Hills Cop taking place in the same sunny fantasy Los Angeles world where police headquarters are architectural models and everyone fires heavy artillery at the slightest provocation. Martin Lawrence is surprisingly sympathetic as the protagonist. The script has numerous plot holes, but the comedy is funny and the action scenes are engaging. A perfect example of “a good time at the movies”, Blue Streak is -in the end- just enough fun.

(On DVD, September 1999) This manages to build three-quarters of quite a good B-grade action film before completely losing it in the finale. Patrick Swayze does a good job as the trucker action hero—looking disturbingly like Kurt Russell. (Meatloaf’s character, however, ends on a cringe-inducing over-the-top mode.) The truck stunts are really enjoyable: make no mistake, this is a truck movie, probably the best since Convoy and/or Smokey And The Bandit. (Feeling nostalgic, yet?) The plot is serviceable, but takes a turn toward both the gee-that’s-boring and the where-did-THAT-come-from in the schizophrenic finale. Worth a look for action/truck junkies, but you might be better off rewinding the cassette at the one-hour mark and making up the ending in your own head.

(On TV, September 1999) Here’s a splendid example of a comedy that loses “it” completely and repeatedly. “It” being wit, development, arc, punch lines and cohesiveness. Not the ingredients needed to build a successful comedy, you’ll say… and yet compare the silly throw-stuff-at-the-audience-until- something-sticks “philosophy” of Billy Madison with the meticulously constructed and developed comedy of, say, Shakespeare In Love and see if one isn’t funnier -and more satisfying- than the other. Even Adam Sandler’s latter Happy Gilmore is more focused and thus more enjoyable. Still, there’s no denying that there are a few good laughs out of Billy Madison, though they won’t make much of an impression… and won’t quite stop to make you wonder how on earth would someone like Madison would end up with someone like Brigitte Wilson.

(On VHS, September 1999) Often-impressive war drama that unfortunately bogs down in useless vignettes and an empty last thirty minutes. Some of the combat scenes are truly stunning, and deservedly attain classical status. On the other hand, the film as a whole is a disappointment; a series of hits and misses, ending on a big miss.

(In theaters, September 1999) Even though Oscar buzz for this film is pretty high, I can’t say I’m cheering for it. Yes, Kevin Spacey is magnificent as the curiously sympathetic protagonist. But, -and this is almost certainly an age thing- I wasn’t deeply affected either by the middle-age crisis theme nor the adolescent-angst subplot, leaving me hanging straight in-between these two age groups. Granted, the movie is at times spectacularly funny, but then it predictably veers into the melodramatic and the deliberately-artsy, making me wish it would go back in comedy territory. The final line is pretty good, though.