Charles Band

  • Decadent Evil (2005)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, March 2022) Oof. French-Canadian horror TV channel Frissons TV is fond of Charles Band’s Full Moon films, and that means that I’ve seen far more of them than I ever expected… with plenty more to go. (I strongly suspect that there’s a quirk of translation going on here—Frissons can’t show movies that haven’t been dubbed or at least subtitled in French, and it looks as if someone somewhere in French dub land had a particular affection for Band’s films. I think it’s the low licensing costs.)  Suffice to say that by this point, I know what to expect from such Full Moon movies: low production values, some nudity, sometimes-intriguing premises and (more often that not) some kind of puppet creature. Decadent Evil, directed by Band, checks off the boxes, featuring not only a vampire seductress, but also a murderous homunculus. It eventually leads to a puppet-on-puppet sex scene, with some nudity along the way. Alas, there’s not much to enjoy here—cheap-looking and thinly imagined, Decadent Evil is nowhere as entertaining as the best Full Moon pictures… and considering that the best we can expect from them is an interesting premise executed shabbily with enough cute girls to keep us interested, that’s not saying very much. Yes, there are better Full Moon movies. But Decadent Evil isn’t one of them.

  • The Gingerdead Man (2005)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, January 2022) Over the past few years, my reviews have chronicled my growing “appreciation” (it’s not the right word) for the work of Charles Band—a filmmaker specializing in low-budget, low-horror, high-comedy movies made for the sub-theatrical market. The Gingerdead Man does reflect many recurring elements of his filmography—short duration, unserious approach, substandard production means, and inanimate objects possessed by evil. But it’s crucially missing those elements that take the best of his film into something approaching viewing pleasure: sex-appeal, comedy or inspired lunacy. Gary Busey does feature in the opening scene and then as the voice of the possessed gingerbread man, but that’s really not enough to compensate for perfunctory production values and comedy that lead to more shrugs than chuckles. Band is often a director who succeeds in spite of himself, and The Gingerdead Man may be closer to the norm than an exception. Band’s Full Moon production company clearly thought well enough of the concept to produce three more follow-ups (including Gingerdead Man vs. Evil Bong, a crossover with another Full Moon property), but we’re certainly not forced to have the same opinion.

  • Petrified (2006)

    Petrified (2006)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, November 2021) At some point, I will go back in my archives and trace the arc of my changing opinions about Charles Band’s Full Moon films. What’s not up for discussion is the fact that he goes for low-budget sensations: Horror movies with intriguing premises hampered by terrible plots and acting, but with some fun and nudity in its execution. Petrified, which seems happy simply riffing off the traditional Mummy tropes (albeit with a thoroughly unconvincing science-fictional rationalization), is very much of the same cloth: As the mummy kills and kills again, we find the action moving to a clinic for… nymphomaniacs. Yes, really. But not really if you’re expecting wall-to-wall nudity and suggestive situations: While the film is thoroughly dedicated to the male gaze, Band doesn’t do much with the possibilities of his own premise in that area. Which is how much of the film goes: Despite some potentially interesting elements here and there, Petrified’s shoddy script doesn’t know what to do with its own ideas, and is just as likely to grind the action to a halt (within a can’t spare-any-moment 71 minutes-long film!) to half-develop something than to go digging into its own potential. It’s a bit goofy fun if you don’t expect much, but it’s frustrating under almost any other point of view. It does strike me that when Full Moon Pictures succeed at being entertaining, they almost do so in spite of themselves — not out of a master plan, but because all the elements seem to pile up in a slightly more entertaining way. The problem with that is that if luck ends up being the main determinant of what succeeds, there’s just as many chances for the pieces to fall down badly, and that seems to be the case with Petrified.

  • Witchouse (1999)

    Witchouse (1999)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On TV, October 2021) Hey, real talk right now, OK? We’re among friends here, and it’s not as if the whole Internet’s watching. I will always have a look at witch-themed horror films because I believe, as many filmmakers do, that witches are sexy. The dark gothic thing works well with me, and once you throw in the idea that witches know things that mortals don’t, and that historically they were the women with enough sense to move away from the village to have their own house in the forest and that’s a potent mix. Lighthearted horror film Witchouse does several things wrong (including a misspelled title), but one thing it does get right is Ashley McKinney Taylor as a twentysomething witch inviting “friends” over to her haunted manor for a weekend of fun and games. It is, predictably, a trap meant to conjure the spirit of her long-dead ancestor, but—shh—the point of the movie is having the characters have sex and die, or figure out the threat they’re facing. In addition to the whole witch angle, I’m also a sucker for haunted-house stories and Witchouse’s thin budget does manage halfway credible gothic sets. Monica Snow is very cute with glasses and curly hair, but her survival isn’t much in doubt as the story moves through very familiar plot points. Witchouse is not a good movie by most objective standards—coming from low-end Full Moon studios and directed by B-movie-making machine David DeCoteau (as “Jack Reed”) and produced by the legendary Charles Band, this is meant as very light horror—not quite comedy, but not overly sombre either. There’s a good heaping of nudity and comparatively light violence, a formulaic story and just enough production values to enjoy the result. It’s not refined cinema, but expect a review of Witchouse 2 as soon as I can get it…

  • Doll Graveyard (2005)

    Doll Graveyard (2005)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, September 2021) As I’ve mentioned before, I’m steadily going through horror writer-director Charles Band’s filmography, and I’m at the point where I’m recognizing various motifs. The creepy-doll thing, for instance, is so prevalent as to qualify as an obsession in his work, showing up in at least seven of his movies. In Doll Graveyard (and no one will be blamed if we’re confusing them), a family is besieged by a supernatural menace from beyond the grave, possessing four dolls (or action figures) that kill people in a variety of creative ways. If you’re familiar with Band’s Full Moon catalogue, you know the drill: premise better than the execution, but still with a kernel of interest. The mood is not overly sombre considering the subject matter, although few will be tempted to call it a comedy. Doll Graveyard is mildly entertaining (perhaps best as background viewing) without being all that good which, in the horror genre, qualifies it as more of a success than you’d guess.

  • Blood Dolls (1999)

    Blood Dolls (1999)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, August 2021) The more I watch entries in low-budget genre producer-writer-director Charles Band’s filmography, the more I’m gradually beaten into submission by appreciating what he’s trying to do. Blood Dolls, for instance, is not a good movie. It’s clunky, dubiously “funny,” nonsensical even at the best of times, and considerably less accomplished than what it intended. Consider that the film has to do with an evil billionaire (or rather ex-billionaire) who transforms enemies in often horribly racist dolls that do his bidding, which is to kill his opponents. This is not high-ambition material, but there’s something almost charming in the way the zany elements are put together. More to the point, I found that the film eventually set up an interesting relationship between its anti-hero and an equally bad antagonist, filled with romantic rivalry and murderous intentions. (Debra Mayer spends most of her screen time in a dominatrix outfit — Band has faults, but he got that one right.)  Clearly, the dialogue and direction and, well, everything else can’t quite catch up to the potential outlined here. But the film does have its distinctions in a crowded horror filed that often has far less to offer. And that, despite low production values and often-moronic intention, is something I’m noticing across the Band filmography — it sets itself apart with a few things that you won’t find anywhere else, and that’s practically a rarity in low-budget horror filmmaking. I may not like the result all that much, but I respect the intention, and the more I watch his films, the more I’m willing to appreciate the results.

  • Castle Freak (1995)

    Castle Freak (1995)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, April 2021) The story behind Castle Freak is unlikely enough to be amazing: When cult-horror director Stuart (Reanimator) Gordon noticed a “Castle Freak” poster (for an unproduced film) in shlockmaster Charles Band’s office, he quickly negotiated a half-million-dollar budget and an agreement that the final result would contain both a castle and a freak. In return, he got what many filmmakers would kill for: complete creative control within those constraints. The result is, well, low-budget but not completely awful: As an American family moves to a castle they just inherited, they certainly don’t expect the murderous creature lurking in the dungeons. There are added layers of psychological and genealogical complexity in the final script, and while the result doesn’t fly particularly high, it is interesting more in a Stuart Gordon way than a Charles Band way. There’s clearly something there trying to escape the confines of its budget. Gordon stalwart Jeffrey Combs plays the male lead role, perhaps courting cult approval more than the film actually deserves. Castle Freak does have its share of obvious problems, including a far too gory scene that should have been toned down to fit with the rest of the film. There are lulls, needless complications, and a premise that arguably runs out of gas well before the film’s 95 minutes are up. Still, it’s not quite as bad as feared, largely due to Gordon’s attitude at managing even a micro-budget. Fun fact: the castle in which the film was shot was actually owned by Band himself. No, I don’t know how a low-budget horror producer can afford a castle. I suspect that’s another amazing story by itself.

  • Evil Bong (2006)

    Evil Bong (2006)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, February 2021) You get no points for guessing that Evil Bong is not a good movie. No points at all. You would even get negative points for hoping that it’s any good even after seeing that notorious schlockmeister Charles Band of Full Moon Features fame wrote and directed the film. Taking place deep into stoner humour subculture, Evil Bong begins once a nerdy young man moves into an apartment featuring, what else, an evil bong. The title device ends up being a portal to another dimension filled with demonic strippers and that’s probably all you really need to know about where it’s going. To be fair, there’s quite a bit of disarming silliness to the result: it’s a film about filmmakers indulging their id on behalf of a very specific audience, and it sort-of-works if you’re in an adjacent category. I’m at the opposite end of the stoner spectrum, but I find nearly anything with nudity and silly comedy to be tolerable, and I wasn’t expecting much more from the film’s pedigree. It is most assuredly not a horror film — despite the gore, the creatures are an unthreatening mix of rubber and CGI and the tone of the film is closer to Cheech and Chong (the latter of which even having a cameo here) than anything truly unsettling. If you’re not part of the stoner subculture, I’d probably suggest watching Evil Bong while doing something else: It’s borderline irritating as a full-attention kind of thing, but just interesting enough to be worth a quick look in-between other activities. There are now more than six sequels, but I’m not in a hurry to see any of them.

  • Dead Man’s Hand (2007)

    Dead Man’s Hand (2007)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, November 2020) There’s something halfway interesting about low-budget horror film Dead Man’s Hand, with a young man inheriting a run-down casino on the outskirts of Las Vegas. As a setting, it’s intriguingly creepy—while Vegas is about the glitz and the fancy destination hotels, there’s something unnerving about the unseen, unlucky, unglamorous underbelly of the city filled with (as the expression goes) broken dreams and bankruptcies. But there I go finding far too much promise in a premise, because Dead Man’s Hand quickly takes a turn for far more conventional material. As our young protagonists get to the casino, we don’t get much more than a take on the haunted house theme: There are vengeful spirits in the casino, and they take aim at anyone who steps in. (Never mind their flimsy motivations or tenuous connection to the protagonist and even more so his friends.) Perfunctory characterization isn’t enough to get us to care, and the schematic nature of the film quickly betrays the limited creative ambitions of shlockmaster director Charles Band. Feeling long even at somewhere around 80 minutes, Dead Man’s Hand is a generic horror product, fleetingly interesting and not even competent enough to be scary. Connoisseurs know that nothing good now carries the Full Moon production label, and this is no exception.

  • Puppet Master (1989)

    Puppet Master (1989)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, July 2020) By the later standards of Charles Band’s Full Moon Pictures, Puppet Master (no, not the alien-invasion film, the killer-dolls one) is almost lavishly high-quality. While no great art, it does feature puppets, stop-motion special effects, some strong visual imagery and competent actors all smothered in the vaguely disreputable 35 mm sheen of horror movies intended for theatrical distribution. (It was ultimately released straight to video for additional profit.) The killer-dolls premise does have some kick to it (unlike later Band films) even if the execution is somewhat less interesting. What’s less explainable is not that the premise would (barely) sustain a film, but that it led to twelve sequels and spinoffs, in addition to reinforcing Band’s fascination for similar thematic material for his slate of horror films. But what can I say—in the wild context of 1980s horror films, Puppet Master almost makes perfect sense.

  • Bad Channels (1992)

    Bad Channels (1992)

    ByChristian Sauvé Movie Review

    (In French, On Cable TV, May 2020) Even by the lax standards of early 1990s horror comedies, Bad Channels isn’t any good. I’m not sure if there was any potential in its premise about aliens using a radio station to kidnap women, but bad control of tone and pacing from director Ted Nicolaou (admittedly working from a script co-written by Charles Band) mean that we’re either bored or dumbfounded. At least it’s not mean-spirited or gory (which helps a lot) but there’s a constant nagging feeling that it could have been much better. Much of the plotting feels arbitrary in order to hit the scenes that they were really going for. Even cute girls in fetching early-1990s outfits sadly can’t save this. Grotesque special effects don’t add much but clearly re-establish this as one of Band’s bargain-basement Full Moon Productions. For a film revolving around a rock station, the soundtrack is unsatisfying, badly integrated and eventually forgotten on the way to the conclusion. Considering that Bad Channels is coming from Charles Band, the question is open as to whether it could have been any better—the awful result seems on-brand for his production company, and we have to acknowledge that maybe no one wanted it to be any better. If you’re looking for a much better movie about a radio DJ confronting a world-ending menace, have a dose of Pontypool and don’t look back.