Glass Trap (2005)

(In French, On Cable TV, April 2022) For some reason, I’ve been finding a lot of ant-related horror movies in the TV listings recently, and I still don’t think that it’s a good topic for a credible horror film. Glass Trap won’t change my mind. Coming from notorious schlockmeister Fred Olen Ray, it’s a hodgepodge of dull storylines, cut-rate production values, laughably fake CGI, terrible characterization, bewildered actors and failed attempts at humour. The storyline has something to do with gigantic ants in a skyscraper and the people trapped in there trying to survive, but the real point of the film is to make a trailer that will convince unambitious viewers to give it a chance rather than stare at literally anything else for 90 minutes. It’s not completely terrible – there’s an occasional chuckle, lingerie-clad actresses, some screaming and a few accidentally entertaining moments. It’s infinitely preferable to, say, a depressing horror film that mean-spiritedly slaughters its entire cast. Still, this isn’t much of a compliment. Suffice to say that Glass Trap is only fit to be seen if you can’t reach the remote nor can get up, or if you’re desperate enough to make yourself an ant-themed horror movie marathon.